There is an accident on the highway. You have been sitting in traffic for 10 minutes or more. Look around. You will see people punching their steering wheels, you can read their lips as they shout bad words and are yelling at nobody. People will be honking their horns and keep edging forward until you cannot even see the front of their car in your rear-view mirror anymore. In some extreme cases people will rush out in to the median or the service lane and try to gain some car lengths risking a car accident or event someones safety. Why do people do this when we are in situations we cannot control?
I travel on airlines a lot and see so many people panicking over things they cannot control. Screaming at each other until there heads turn red. Calling flight attendance and other airline staff bad names. What does this accomplish? Your flight will not arrive any sooner. All it did was get your blood boiling and make you look like an idiot in front of strangers. Use this extra time wisely. Call your wife and kids and tell them you love them. Maybe there is enough time to open the laptop and finish up some work you might be behind on. Lots of people just grab a book or magazine. Just relax. Remember it is not in your control.
This same emotional response I have found in many areas of life. I myself have lost my cool over situations as well, so I am not an example of perfection. I do however, keep my cool better than most. I tend to lose my cool from time to time when someone is frustrated over something I feel is stupid. Maybe it is not stupid to them but it is to me. These days I try to evaluate the whole entire situation. Past, present and future.
- Past – Have I been upset over this same issue before. (In most cases it will be yes)
- What type of fallout did this cause myself and the people around me last time?
- Did people decide I was the right one in the end? (Probably not)
- Present – Who will I piss off over my thoughts and emotions at this point?
- Does it matter who? You should always do your best to make people happy and comfortable.
- Is there people around who will see or hear your comments causing a first impression that is not the real you or could cause a negative outlook on yourself?
- Future – Will I lose a friend or make a member of my family angry over something that at the end of the day will have no relevance?
- Is the trouble worth it?
- Does it really bother you this much?
Normally you will come to the conclusion that it is not worth the argument or getting angry over.
99% of the time when we are in these situations it is due to factors we can’t control like outside forces or difference of opinions. Do not make yourself angry because things are not going the way you vision them. Staying positive in the situations is important as when people see you having a positive attitude it opens doors to more opportunities, friends, family and even self confidence.